A little while ago my husband convinced me to go to the Face to Face concert with him, and Saturday was the night. I'm not a huge fan of punk music, but I decided that it would be great to get out and rekindle the old bad ass flame in my heart. So we left the kids with Pete's mum and made our way out for the night.
The night started great, dinner at the Keg, drinks and good conversation when we got there. The show started off fantastic, and then I hit my plateau, the dreaded 11 O'clock mark. I tried people, I tried hard, but every song just seemed to blend into the next, and I couldn't understand a single word. I had to stop drinking since I was the designated driver (which by the way, a husband shouldn't do to his wife who doesn't like the music he's dragged her to anyways...) and sweaty neanderthals kept banging into me and making my arms slick with their gross, stinky sweat.
It wasn't long before I started to feel faint and tired and decided that I needed to sit down and get some air. I found a comfy chair in the lounge area of the theater and once I got to sitting, I didn't want to get up and lose my spot, so I stayed. I didn't think there was anything wrong with this, and I didn't complain to leave. I just patiently waited for the show to end and enjoyed the fresh(er) air near the doors. Little did I know, this was too much for Pete and he felt that he needed to come join me instead of answering the barrage of questions he was getting from people about where I had disappeared to. (Something tells me that people didn't really mind as much as he was putting on!)
Needless to say, I was done for the night, but still had to drive people home. On the way, a friend of Pete's shot me the remark that I used to be fun and that I had lost that "party girl" mentality. I'm pretty sure he wont read this, so I'll just say it...he really hurt my feelings.
My children don't define me, but they do define how I live my life at the present moment. I can't be the mom I want to be if I'm hungover, drunk driving, partying like a rockstar, or overtired and quick tempered. I want to patient, and kind, I want to be present and involved. Sure, I want to have time for myself, and I want to go out, but how can you possibly give equal weight to both? You can't. Well, I can't.
So, no, I'm not the person I used to be. I'm better.
Again, I teared reading your story! Damn straight you are better! xo The young man who said you are not so exciting... what kind responsibilities did he have the following morning? And what kind of day was he coming from.. probably one of merely fulfilling his own needs.As such, he could not possibly know what sacrifice is.
ReplyDeleteAgreed- you are. One word: IMMATURE! A completely lack of understanding and although I don't know this person he's obviously selfish. I agree with everything you said and don't lt jerks like him drag you down- I admire you so much. I'd love to see him be i n your shoes for a week and go to the concert and function the next day. MEN! not all suck but a great too many do!
ReplyDeleteThanks guys! The guy is a genuinely nice person, and does have a child himself, so he does understand somewhat the pain of waking up in the morning. It's just the idea that I was someone "more fun" before having children and by proxy, someone "less" fun now that I have children, that hurts my feelings! Thanks for the support though, we all need it!
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