Finding the words

My mind has been a mess lately.  I sometimes get these intense urges to write, but find myself playing out the words in my head, scribbling on an imaginary paper.  The thoughts come to me, fervently, almost prophetically, but for some reason, I find it impossible to get them out coherently.  When the words do touch reality, they seem disconnected and vulgar.  The experience can only be likened to that of explaining one's frighteningly realistic dream to someone, only to realize that the dream itself made no sense. 

I think that I am unconsciously self-censoring. 

The world is so....twisted, and I can't understand why doing the "right thing" is so difficult in so many situations.  If not by fate, I came across a definition today in "The Devil's Dictionary" by Ambrose Bierce, and though the book itself was meant to be satirical, I found the frankness of it to be quite, refreshing.

"Responsibility: A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor."

Fortune does not dictate our fate, but rather, we are the architects of our own destiny.  The world is cyclical.  I am who I am because of my parents.  Both their faults and their blessings have been gifts to me, and thus, my faults and my blessings will shape my own children.  I understand that all situations are not equal, and that my perception of "faults" and "blessings" is biased, but ultimately the world has a shape and we must all live within it.  We cannot expect our children to use our failings as parents to better themselves with as adults.  It is our responsibility to give them ALL that we can, if not physically, then spiritually (and by spiritually, I mean nurturing their secular spirit). 

We are the Gaia (sp?) of their center.  We give them strength, and independence and the ability to love.  We give them the power to say no, to stand tall, and to feel self worth.  OUR lives are THEIR lives until they can make their own.  We are their reality and we must make sure that it makes sense.

There, I said it.  No more censoring. 

(I get my boldness from my father, and my timidity from my mother.  Aren't we all just the product of an oxymoron...)

Life is Good

Wow.  First off, let me apologize for my absence from the blog world, I've been a little busy!  Pete saved his paternity leave for now and he's taken a month off from work.  Needless to say, we've been moving and running all over the place and I haven't had the time to sit and think about a blog entry lately. 
I haven't got anything particularly insightful to say tonight, but I've definitely got a few pictures to share with you.  Bear with me on this one, and I swear I'll have something a little deeper for you in a few days after my girls night out! 

First off, my niece Mia turned three on July 7th and we had a little party here for her birthday.  The kids love playing together and I planned ahead and bought some face paints to keep the kids entertained on the day of her party.  Mia decided to be a butterfly, Hunter a pirate and I took it upon myself to give Parker little cat whiskers and ears.  They had a blast and the face paints wore off before we could even take a decent picture of them. 

I'll just have to take out the paints at Parker's birthday next week and try to get a picture of the kids again!

Later that week we took a little family trip to Exporail, the train museum in St Constant.  Hunter couldn't get enough of the larger than life engines and even Parker seemed in awe of their size.  Exporail has got to be one of the best places to take your kids, and we go every year.  Walking through the maze of over sized trains never gets old by the end of the day the kids are exhausted and elated.

Guess trains really are in our blood...

The last wonderful diversion from life we've taken on Pete's extended vacation was a quick trip to Lake George, NY.  Lake George is probably one of the best memories I have as a child.  My parents used to take us all the time as kids, and I remember staying in rickety old cabins tossing all night in anticipation of the next day's activities.  This time, we had the pleasure of being the parents and watching our kids delight in the fun that is Lake George.  There's just something about road tripping it with your kids, sleeping as a family in a huge king size bed and spending the day on the boardwalk eating ice cream and swimming at the beach that makes a summer a GREAT summer.  This has got to be a veritable shangri la of family trips.  The scenery of the Adirondacks is breathtaking and the possibilities for fun are endless (not to mention affordable). 

Well folks, it's late and I'm beat.  The vacation isn't over yet, and I've got a spa day planned for tomorrow.  Here's to some much needed sleep and a good, long massage.  Solo.

I promise to check back in soon, with something deep, meaningful, or perhaps a little funny.  Can't promise which direction it'll go in, but I can promise that it wont be dark, these days, life is good.